Saturday, 11 February 2012

Why you should "force" your kids to be kids just a little longer

As a substitute teacher I see children and teenagers from all walks of life, each with their own abilities, personalities, and various things that makes them unique. As mainly a high school teacher I see many students struggling, even by grade 9, to figure out what they want to do with their lives, or "when they grow up" so to speak. I see students as young as 14 forced to get jobs and provide for themselves, and at times their families, and too often their studies fall to the way side.  As teachers, we sometimes forget that our students have a life outside of school and home.  And I don't just mean the soccer, dance, hockey, etc. life. I mean real pressures that they, or others, are forcing upon them.  Even "kids" as old as 18 deserve to just be kids.  Parents need to stop forcing their children to be what they want them to be.  I had a parent upset once because their child was getting a B in my class and not an A.  He was a good writer, not a great one, but he worked very hard at any task he was given.  If marks were given on effort, he would have an A+ but his parents did not see that.  I saw anxiety in this child, who worked hard an never goofed off.  A mindset that whatever he did, it would never be good enough.

It is situations like this that make me reflect on who I will be as a parent.  I hope I'm never that pushy parent that only wants to see A's.  I hope I'm the parent who encourages my children to do the best they can, and that yes, their best IS good enough.  I hope I'm the parent, (like mine), who said no I couldn't get a job, but yes I could hang out and do nothing with my friends (as long as my homework was done) as much as I wanted.  I could drive around, waste gas, go to movies, the mall, anywhere and just enjoy being a kid.  I hope I'm the parent that tells their child that once you're an adult there is not going back so enjoy your childhood.

Students and parents alike need to realize that although school is not the be all end all, it is an important learning experience inside the classroom and out.  Children need to learn how to make their own decisions about their likes, dislikes, and goals and parents need to realize that its okay to watch them fail once in a while.

In short, let your kids be kids just a little longer. If they don't want to play the sports you did or do, then oh well. Whatever they choose to do is okay, even if they choose nothing.  Childhood is a tumultuous time where kids are learning who they want to be and they don't need you to mold them into a "mini me." They simply need someone who is there to help them along the way, provide encouragement, love, a tiny push here and there, and most of all, they need someone to tell them it's okay to be a kid a little longer.

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